Unnecessary (Silly!) Things

I was raised in a serious household. We worked hard, got things done, met our goals via the quickest route possible. There was no stopping to smell the roses, shooting the breeze with neighbors or getting in the car with no destination in mind. Something was wrong with a day if you had nothing to show for it.

I do not take issue with people being industrious and productive. Money doesn’t grow on trees, as they say, and generally you get money when you work. Then, not only do you get the things you need (and a few things that you just plain want), you develop a sense of accomplishment, of contributing to the world around you in a positive way, of earning your keep. Walking downtown the other day, I heard some people hanging out in the park (same people who hang out in the park every day), complaining, yelling, insulting one another. I hurried on, thinking they have nothing to do! If only they had something valuable or interesting or important to do!

A classical statue depicting Diligence, the (one of seven) heavenly virtue that represents the “drive to steadfastly move forward with one’s means,” shows a woman holding a whip and spurs. (The fact that a woman is holding them, not a man, is an interesting point all by itself, but outside my scope for today. We might come back to that…) I am all for people showing up for work, keeping the lights on and the wheels of community turning.

But anything taken to an extreme is no good. I even heard (though bear in mind that this could be one of those things you hear that has zero validity) that you can even take the “Drink lots of water” advice too far, that you can kill yourself drinking too much water. Fact check required here, but point here being, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Isn’t that how it goes?

I don’t remember laughter at the dinner table when I was a kid. Or anywhere at home for that matter. There was a time when I remember thinking I had never seen my father’s teeth – as in he didn’t smile or laugh enough for us to see his teeth! If something funny happened, his expression moved in the direction of chuckling, no doubt about that, but actual, audible laughing-out-loud, no. I don’t mean this as a criticism of my father – he was ultra-industrious, as was his prerogative, and surely laughed sometimes. I just didn’t see it.

But laughter, silliness, childishness – these thongs (oops, things!) came along later for me, and I am so glad they did! They came along for my mom too, who could hardly do anything more out of character than pretending to be a lobster while wearing a plastic bib in (this is the kicker) a dining room filled with lots of people!

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Can’t you just hear some old marm saying Barbara, that’s unnecessary! Stop being so silly! I’m sure she heard those words in her head, but silliness won the day! Granted, she had a good model. Jerry did not need any encouragement, in fact he started the whole thing.

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On the heels of this, my tennis buddy Scott did a most unnecessary thing on his paddleboard on Labor Day – a headstand!

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None of us needs to do a headstand on a paddleboard (!) or insert lobster antennae in our mouths like whiskers,

or be tomato-heads

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or go face-to-face with ridiculous chickens!

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But we should! We should do all kinds of silly stuff!

My mom with lobster whiskers! My mom laughing so hard she can hardly stand it! Not in my wildest dreams did I envision this moment. I am still giggling just to think of it.  But little makes me happier than seeing that smile on her face 😊

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Great Neighbors and The Power of a Tractor

“Have you got a square shovel?” Joe asked.

“I have a snow shovel,” I said.

“As long as it’s not plastic,” he said.

I went to the shed and got the metal snow shovel and brought it to where we were moving the smooth river rock into the bucket of the tractor. The river rock was sitting within an open wooden framework flanking the brick pathway leading to the front porch steps. A square shovel makes it easier to shovel from the inner edge of the frame…

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…while a pointed tip is not so wide and would leave a lot behind.

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We wanted to move the river rock in order to save it for use some other time. The excavation work soon to happen in this area will erase all traces of river rock, so if you want the rock, move it while you can.

As I walked back to the work site I thought about Laura Ingalls Wilder. Her own “Little House in the Big Woods” was vastly different from mine. Her setting, Wisconsin in the 1870s, was largely unpopulated. Families needed enormous measures of gumption, skill, courage and strength, a portion of luck and at least a few good tools.

I wondered: Did they have a square shovel? I am sure, between building a house in the woods, making their own butter and cheese, harvesting crops, raising, hunting and butchering animals, and fending off a variety of threats to their admirable homestead, they did not have need to move decorative river rock out of preexisting wooden frameworks. But I’ll bet a square shovel would have been handy for some aspect of their operation. More than that, think how different their experience would have been with a good tractor.

Having the right tools helps so much. It sure helped yesterday. And I don’t mean the snow shovel for the river rock. I mean this Kuboda LA525.

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Tracy, my very generous neighbor, gave me two hours of her time along with the use of this beast of hers. Joe, her very capable dad, masterfully orchestrated the relocation of my two planter boxes, each of which has to weigh at least 500 pounds.

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Together with the help of the beast, these great neighbors did in two hours what would have taken us the whole weekend.

I did the prelim work last week, putting the cinder blocks in place. That’s when it looked like this.

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But after that my hands were tied. Earth weighs approximately 100 pounds per cubic foot. These planter boxes are five feet long by about two feet wide and about 18″ high. Granted, the lower half is filled with some empty cans and Styrofoam peanuts just to take up space (coleus, even gigantic ones like mine, don’t need that much dirt). Still, the 100 pounds per cubic foot is just the dirt. The total weight of the boxes also includes the rainwater that soaked that dirt two days ago, the wood itself that the planter box is made of and even the relatively minor weight of the plants themselves.

I don’t own a tractor and had spent a good bit of time considering how we were going to solve the problem of moving these huge and heavy boxes. We might dig the plants and most of the dirt out of them, then drag each box or walk it one angled step at a time, a few inches at a time, to the concrete blocks. Or use a furniture dolly. Sooner or later we would have moved them. But oh, the joy of a machine with this kind of power!

Watch what it can do. With just that strap around the middle, Joe at the wheel, and Samuel and Sandy to keep it from tipping one way or the other, the box went off the ground. They pivoted it,

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Joe backed up,

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they kept her steady,

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they moved toward the landing pad,

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and he lowered her into position.

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The second box was just as simple except for my landing pad not being as level as I thought it was. (Least said about that, the better!)

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It’s an amazing machine, but more important to me, it was a great team effort, the kind of thing you wonder about sometimes: Is it real? Do neighbors help each other like that?

They did yesterday! They do!

This is community, people coming together to make a hard thing easier. This is the way it’s supposed to be – not to say it always is, but it should be. In the 1870s in the big woods of Wisconsin, pioneers pooled their strengths and resources as well. Wilder’s book includes heartwarming examples of her father trading labor with their neighbors. Yesterday my own heart was warmed as I witnessed amazing labor on Labor Day.

Everyone can do their bit – any day of the year – to perpetuate good, to lend a hand, to make their own corner of the world a better place than it might otherwise be. The best vitamin for making friends is B1, right? Same applies to having good neighbors, I’m sure.

Picky Chickens

I have had chickens for a grand total of almost ten years and today I saw something new. Let me back up.

Chickens love to eat. They eat all day long. They are forever scratching around looking for a bug or some crumb they missed the hundred other times they scratched in that spot. When I worked at the hotel I brought them buckets of carrot peels, old bread, cheese ends gone hard, table scraps, slightly wilty lettuce. Whatever the cooks had that would otherwise have gone in the food trash, they put in a five-gallon bucket for me to bring to my chickens. I had the best-fed and happiest chickens ever. I never saw the hens refuse anything that remotely looked green or like protein except what they physically could not manage, like the woody ends of asparagus or broccoli. Those they left. Everything else they devoured.

I went to a lobster fest today. Lobster, mussels, sausage, corn on the cob, salad, watermelon, amazing desserts. While we were making a mess with the lobsters and people were starting to finish up their plates and put them toward the center of the round table, I remembered my chickens. Wouldn’t they love this?

The manager ok’d it, so I went home with three bags full of leftovers. I thought the chickens would pick incessantly at those lobster shells for any remnant of meat left in them – same as they would with a chicken bone (sad but true), a t-bone or a pork chop bone. Some of them did! Good, normal chickens these are.

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But some of them didn’t!

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The silkies walked away, the d’uccle walked away, the black copper maran just looked at it.

Who rejects lobster?? Colonial prisoners protested, this we know. No, not lobster again! It’s true. Back in the day, way, way back in the day, when people committed crimes on Cape Cod and were put into prison, they were fed the cheapest, most abundant food, which at that time was lobster. Apparently the waters teemed with the meaty crustaceans. Lobster was like junk. After a while, the prisoners wanted something else – understandable to me because I’m not exactly a lobster fan myself (the salmon today was delicious!), but that’s not the point! These are chickens! They eat anything!

In the meantime, I do think I have some very grateful DEER! At dinnertime, two deer were grazing close to the house on the same side as the watermelon graveyard!

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Do you see them? I watched, tried to take decent photos from inside so as not to scare them (but failed, I know, on account of the screen and the window between us) and then my heart jumped as the young buck on the right headed straight for the graveyard!

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He must have smelled the rinds I pitched there earlier. (Sandy wanted to take a picture of me doing this, and did, well before the deer came along, meaning I did not expect to be glad for this picture!)

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I’ll see what’s left of the lobster when I go check the chickens tomorrow. Maybe the ones who rejected it just had to warm to the idea. Maybe just before I arrived with my gift to them, they had just found a massive stash of fresh bugs and were full. We’re full and watching out waistlines. Maybe later we’ll pick at the lobster… Maybe they don’t see what the fuss is all about. Lobster, so what? Maybe they realized instantly that it’s soooo decadent they have to eat it in private. No one’s looking, right? I can eat my lobster now??

I wonder what I’ll find…

The Watermelon Graveyard

One thing I love about living in the country is that I can stand on my back deck and chuck my watermelon rinds into the woods. If I lived in a city, I couldn’t do this. If I lived in a developed neighborhood, or in an apartment building, or in a place with concrete rather than earth all around my house, I couldn’t. Please understand that I don’t have to chuck them. I have a legitimate way to get rid of trash. But I can chuck those rinds, so I do.

I also chuck the tea leaves out of my teapot behind the house. This requires less of a throwing arm and more of a sweeping fling, a technique I have pretty much perfected through years of practice.

I not only can chuck the rinds, I want to. Reasons abound. Among them:

Coco the Adorable, Samuel’s sweet pug, LOVES watermelon and eats more of it than you’d think she could. I, too, can eat quantities that would surprise some people. It’s a thing we do together. I no sooner take the beast of a melon out of the refrigerator and put the point of my biggest knife into it, than she is off the cushy spot on the couch she had been curled up in, seemingly fast asleep, and is at my feet with that face of hers staring up at me. Surely you won’t deny a nice dog like me a healthy snack??  She presents herself as if she is underfed, starving, neglected, pathetic – none of which she is, of course, but she does a mighty fine job of acting that way. I cave. You would cave too.coco begging (2).jpg

Our routine gave me an idea last year. If Coco likes watermelon, maybe other animals would too. If I have this many rinds from eating this much watermelon, I ought to think of a way to be smart about disposing of them. I do not exist to feed the wildlife in my woods, but I know that deer and mice and squirrels and whatever else are out there. And if I can make their day with free food AND get rid of bulky trash at the same time (without adding to the piles in the landfill) with no known reason why this is harmful in any way to anything, why shouldn’t I? It gives me a warm feeling to know that the wildlife can gnaw away to their heart’s content. Mind, I have never actually seen them do this, but I did check the watermelon graveyard for evidence the other day, and this is what I found:

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Looks gnawed to me!

The graveyard, yes. This is the full picture of that area.

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If you look carefully, you can see the rinds, old and new, among the broken, fallen branches which, granted, the wildlife have to maneuver their way through in order to get to said rinds. No one said it was going to be easy. The pinker rinds are from yesterday, the whiter ones have been enjoyed (let me hope immensely) by my resident wildlife.

I stand at this corner of my deck.

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I bring my rinds and look out at this view.

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And I pitch them. It’s just woods, but it’s also a pretty steep hill that drops off quickly, steep enough to have to walk sideways up or down it at times, steep enough to have to hold onto trees for support at times. Walking down to the graveyard to get the photo of it was no walk in the park. Anything I throw from the corner of the deck in that direction is going to land partway down the hill. It’s far enough away from the house to feel “away” from the house, but close enough that I can reach it with a good throw.

I want credit for being smart enough not to invite wildlife to come too close to the house using food as an enticement. I want them to stay in the woods. I want to throw the rind as far as I can. Judging from the abundance in the graveyard, I have a fairly consistent range. I am not going to measure that. I don’t weigh myself either. I don’t need the number. I just know it feels like the right distance/weight for me, and that’s enough.

A good throw has its pleasure for me too. Many, many moons ago I played softball. I have no concrete evidence to support this next statement, but I remember my team making it to the all-stars tournament when I was probably 11. I was a pitcher, and you pitch underhand in softball (or you did back then) but you also have to know how to throw a ball overhand to get it quickly to the first baseman or whoever. My dad taught me how to throw a ball and I am fairly certain he had one goal in mind: Make sure this girl doesn’t throw like a girl!

I am not going to enter any throwing contests, but I can throw a ball. And if you can throw a ball, you can throw a watermelon rind, trust me. The rind is more fun to watch than a ball as it leaves your hand on its way to its final resting place in the woods for one good reason: it spins. You have to do it yourself to know how fun this is.

As you may have noticed, the graveyard also contains unwanted branches; these were cut from saplings closer to the house that I needed to get rid of. (You need only so many saplings near the house.) When I have to get rid of cut flowers that have seen better days, I make my way toward the graveyard and fling them in that direction too. The watermelon graveyard is a place of eternal rest (and decomposition!) for unwanted plant material.

Come to think of it, the tea leaves are what got me started with the idea to Give back to nature what nature produced. I get my loose Earl Grey tea at Foods of All Nations in Charlottesville. I put a teaspoon of leaves in the pot, pour in the boiling water, then use my nifty strainer. Some of the leaves end up in the strainer, but none of them in the cup – a great, well-tuned system. Most of the leaves stay in the pot. Cleaning up (later) means finding a way to get rid of whatever tea leaves and liquid is left in the pot. I don’t want to throw liquid in the trash can, nor tea leaves down my drain. The perfect solution seemed to be: Chuck them. Give the leaves back to the earth. Granted, the earth didn’t produce the tea leaves exactly here, but let’s not fuss about details.

The main thing is we ought to embrace the freedoms we have and celebrate them. Act on them, live them out, enjoy them, cherish them. I realize that chucking watermelon rinds would probably not give anyone else under the sun the thrill it gives me. I realize that there are other ways to get rid of loose tea leaves and that flinging them off my deck into my backyard will not matter one bit in regard to improving the soil quality (although maybe that’s why the weeds grow so well??). But I can chuck and I can fling! Not everyone has the freedom (and the right property on which) to do it. But I do. Yay! Other people have the freedom and circumstances to do other things that I can’t do. I hope they appreciate theirs the way I appreciate mine.

 

Mario’s Yam Soup

Yams were $0.79/pound yesterday in my grocery store, which must mean that they are coming into season. And now it’s September (how can this be!?). As soon as the air is a little cooler at night and you start to see the leaves turning color or falling – here and there they are doing that already in Virginia! – it’s time to think about the fall recipes.

Yam soup is one of my favorites. I first had it a few years ago when Mario, the “Villa Lunch” chef at the hotel where I worked, included it in his buffet. This is Mario in his glory. It was a nice hotel.

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Unlike most cooks, Mario was out on the floor daily. He made all the food for Villa Lunch starting at 7am, then came upstairs with it at noon and personally sliced the meat and spooned the sides onto the plates of very happy guests. He is talented, personable, kind and funny – absolutely perfect for this job. He often made up a plate for me as he was breaking down the buffet table around 2pm. It would include whatever I wanted from that day’s items, quite a nice perk! He knows how much the guests loved him from the stack of comment cards collected over the years that sing his praises. I hope he takes those out of his desk and reads them now and then.

Mario’s yam soup was a guest favorite – out-of-this-world flavor, but so simple. If you were preparing lunch for 40-50 people every day including a soup, a salad, a main dish (and associated sauce or accompaniment) and two hot sides, various cold salads and a cheese and charcuterie board, and you had a total of five hours to get everything ready, you would keep it simple too.

I posted this recipe on July 19 (in The Cookbook Comes Out). Here it is again. Now’s the time to make it.

Mario's yam soup

You might want to divide all the ingredients in half (and if you want to use three yams instead of two and a half, it won’t hurt anything). This recipe as it is makes a lot of soup. It freezes very well and I have always made it in this quantity, but you need a big pot. A really big pot. To get an idea if my regular Dutch oven would be big enough, I put the yams and onions in it, whole, and then tried to imagine having to add the oil, wine and a gallon of water. I don’t think so.

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I had to bring out my big pot. It’s considerably bigger than my Dutch oven, bigger than I really need, but better to have more room in the pot than a quantity that is unwieldy at best and possibly might even spill over. My big pot is this big compared to my Dutch oven. It worked.

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A pot midway in size between these two would have been perfect.

Having settled on the right pot, I started chopping. Those of you who are very sharp might have noticed that there are more than 5 onions in my pot in the photo above. Isn’t that the thing about recipes? They tell you 5 onions but not necessarily how big the onions are supposed to be.

I have Mario’s onions in my mind, the huge ones I saw him cutting up when he was making this soup. My onions are not huge. They are from my garden so I love them, but they are on the small side, so I used seven instead of five. Mario might have used ten of this size, but I’m going with seven. That’s the thing about onions. It doesn’t matter that much how many – more gives a stronger onion flavor, fewer gives not as strong an onion flavor. Your call.

(The yams look redder in this photo than they are.)

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I put the cup of olive oil in the pot, turned the flame on low, and proceeded to chop up and add the onions to the oil. My onions were chopped like this. I chop them on a separate board – always have, this particular board for decades actually – because as much as I love onions, I don’t want their flavor/odor getting into the wood of my countertop and I don’t want the thing I cut up later (let’s say, watermelon) to pick up any of that flavor. It’s a small price to pay for the joy of chopping on a wooden surface.

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The onions in the oil are a thing of beauty.

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There are two ways to peel a yam. One way is with a peeler and the other is with a knife. The peeler works only if you have a good peeler. Even then, it is simply a matter of preference.

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When it is peeled and the end is cut off, it looks like this.

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I find it easier to slice it into thick wheels first, and then cut off the edges. For this I use my 10” chef’s knife. First make slices about ¾” thick.

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Then, either in a small stack…

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…or one by one, cut the edges off.

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Then cut them into cubes…

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… and put them in with the onions.

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I turned it down to low and put a cover on to let this all soften. About 20 minutes went by before I remembered the wine. White wine, the recipe says. Talk about UN-EXACT! I guessed at a chardonnay. It also happened to be the first thing I pulled from my fridge. Chardonnay will work, I decided. Pollak is a local Virginia wine and a very nice vineyard to visit if you are in the area.

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In went the wine and again I covered the pot, this time forgetting the water! Not the end of the world, she says ten minutes later. The veggies had already cooked down a bit, were not quite mushy but getting there. In went the gallon of water. It seems less formidable if you just fill and dump your quart-size measure four times. Then it looks like this.

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And in half an hour it looked like this.

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That’s when I turned it off and let it cool. You don’t have to let it cool before the next step, but I was going out to read to Evelyn (we are almost to the end of the Queen Victoria book!) so I left it.

There would be two ways to “just blend it,” as the recipe says. God bless him, Mario means blend as in blender, electric blender, and there are two of those: the traditional stand-up blender and the immersible kind. Let’s try both, and see.

I put some in a bowl, thinking I had a big/tall enough bowl for the immersion blender. Wrong. It made a splashy mess and did not puree the veggies as I wanted. Reject this method.

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I got out the tried-and-true blender that has to be 25 years old, filled it about halfway,

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put the lid on tight and hit Puree. I let it do its thing, whirring, chopping, pureeing at high speed for ten seconds. Ten seconds means me counting to ten as in one, one thousand, two, one thousand, three, one thousand….

Voila!

Don’t you love that word: Voila!

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It was enough. I transferred each blender-full of the now-pureed, almost-soup to the regular size Dutch oven. Fill, puree, repeat until all is done. I got this much, which turns out to be just shy of 5 quarts.

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Add salt a teaspoon at a time, remembering that salt enhances the flavor, brings it out. Stir and taste each time. Too little is no good. Too much is no good. I needed about a teaspoon per quart to make it taste right (to me). Add pepper to taste.

When you heat it up to eat it, put some of the Backerbsen or some other little crouton on top of the soup in your bowl as I suggested with Mom’s Tomato Soup. They would be terrific on this.

Please let me know if my efforts to be EXACT in my instructions are not exact enough. I was timing something earlier, another recipe I might share, and Samuel, my son who’s 24, chided me. “Since when do you time things?” he said to me.

“Since the people who read my blog requested that I be EXACT,” I replied.

“Is this an effort to rebrand yourself as someone who gives specific instructions instead of your normal ‘you’ll know when it’s done’?”

Very funny.